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If you told me years ago that older kids were more expensive than toddlers, I would’ve never believed you. Little kids seemed so expensive — with childcare, diaper costs, and constant new clothes and toys. But I was wrong.
No one had prepared me for the true cost of parenting my bigger kids — who are now 9 and 13 — especially for the perpetual spend fest that is late summer into the holidays.
Once mid-August rolls around, I brace myself for the back to school shopping binge. We try our best to budget. But once we recover from that financial hit, we are squarely into the spending season that is the next three months.
To help us stay on budget this year, we are trying new budgeting habits.
Throughout the year, there are the monthly expenses for our kids: like phone bills, competitive sports teams, grocery and personal care items. All of these expenses, like signing up for next year’s activities and birthday party gifts, add up.
But in September, spending rises and doesn’t drop until Januray.
Starting in September, it’s a constant financial drain with musical instrument rentals, new soccer cleats, sports gear, and endless school supply lists. Plus, there’s getting back into a routine with allowances and chores.
The spending flow continues straight into the holidays, with Homecoming dances, Halloween, and all manner of middle school events in between: field trips, outdoor education trips, school pictures, and yearbook purchases. Plus, the everyday real and ridiculous requests that are calculated into our budget, like hair care and skincare. New line items appear almost weekly in our family spreadsheet.
On top of that, there are the curveballs, like braces and outgrown beds. These are all things my husband and I knew were coming one day, but we didn’t necessarily prepare for. These months are the most financially difficult for our family.
We don’t just say yes to our kids all the time. There are many moments of lost sweatshirts and water bottles. We do take those moments to talk with our kids about spending and budgeting basics.
As everything continues to get more expensive, we’re working together to help our kids discern what is necessary and what is a treat. Our kids are learning that just because you ask for it, or it’s on a list, doesn’t mean you get it. We’re learning to instill the principle of earned vs. given.
We’ve also been having real conversations about the absurdities of TikTok trends and “must-haves” in clothing and skincare. Being bombarded with reels and skincare tutorials and GRWMs is a lot for teens to handle, in addition to peer pressure. We talk to our kids about our own spending and saving as parents, to help them with their own financial literacy.
We’ve created agreements about chores and responsibilities. We’ve allocated for a weekly allowance, with a focus on consistency, with possibilities for a “raise.” And, we’re looking at several options for opening a checking account for them.
As parents, we’ve become aware of the moments that we give in to our kids’ demands, or when we are impulsive and want to treat ourselves and our kids. We recognize when we’re going overboard, and why, and can rein in our spending. Parents shouldn’t feel guilty about spending. But just because you can afford to do it doesn’t mean you should.
As we make our way through fall, we’re finding ways to be more fiscally responsible as parents, by cooking at home, using our library, finding items on Buy Nothing or Facebook Marketplace, and traveling locally, to model healthy spending habits for our kids.
We now talk more about money, and our kids are encouraged to share what they buy, what they value, and when they’re saving up for something special. We hope our conversations help them understand what items and experiences are worth to them, to make smart money decisions in their future.
While things might be financially unpredictable this time of year, being aware, being prepared, and sticking to a budget during this wild ride can help you make it into the new year with a little left over in your bank account.
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